“why i never married for love” Bibi Tales

Bibi is a writer and a mother, raised as a strict Christian, who falls in love with a man. “This story begins where others end,” Bibi writes. “A boy and a girl in love, a wedding, a happily-ever-after.” And then what? Two children, two careers, a few moves, and a couple of decades later, the wife discovers that she wants—well, what, exactly? Maybe she just wants Full disclosure about love.

According to her we should marry for two reasons.Marry for Generational success  and Personal growth.Not for love! You might be wondering why? Are you crazy. I think you don’t love your husband.I love my husband really,but love is not a reason to marry.Marriage is not a vehicle for love as much as a vehicle for building,what are we building?We are building success ,we are building stability,foundation,wealth,,legacy,intimacy,the community,we are building each other.That is what marriage is about.

When people talk about marrying for love,they mean how that person make them feel,he makes you feel right,that person gives you butterflies, make you happy ,they make you feel great .They are basically speaking about the chemicals shooting off ,name it,dopa mine,serotonin,Oxycontin,from that perspective .Am not going to marry someone unless i love them,i feel something about them.

The time i was right this is my husband .I was not thinking about holding hands in the park.I was not thinking him coming with a horse in a “a romantic scenery”.All the fun times we will have together.I wasn’t thinking of all that,i was evaluating him on his ability to build,yes he can make me laugh,but can he cultivate resources,yes he makes me feel great ,but what that intelligence can do? yes i love how he compliments me,but what about his resilience? When the going gets tough,what about the life long learning?He has charisma,what about his circle of influence,who is he connected to? What kind of network would i have access to,if i married .What kind of success would my children have? 

People get to think that legacy is only wealth and money? But its also the network,because a lot of ties its not what you know,but who you know.We hold hands each time,we are the lovey couples in the street and at home.There are times we don’t like each other,times where we can’t stand each other,but we are building,we are masterminding,even when we don’t like each other.At the end of the day we come to each other to build.We make things happens.Adam and Eve at  the garden of Eden,God told them go build! it was not  about the lovey dovey stuff .Go build the world,go multiply,go build the community.The reason is we are not going to rule and reign as the royalty you are if you do not have the skills to build.

As all ,we should stop pushing romance,feelings and happiness.”if am not happy” It is not about your happiness.What are you doing to make this world a better place?Are you in a team with a person who can do nothing ? Just ponder what am saying, am not saying ”not love”the person you are marrying.Do not marry on the basis that you love that person.Most people who marry for love do not mind filing for divorce.It is easy for them,because that feeling they had is gone.It was actually tested after marriage,failed in the test of adversity because love is action.We show our love past feelings,we show our love by doing what we are supposed to do.

Disclaimer##some are going to disagree on this post and that is okay.Am at peace with my logic.If you like this post and would love to see more,like and share

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